Friends With Benefits



Why have we become a society that is so suspicious of any kind of love unless it is romantic or familial? God values friendship. He says NO GREATER LOVE HAS NO ONE. How are we to have the kind of love for our friends that would lay down our life for them when we as a church tend to pollute it when we see it? How did we get to the point where we value romantic love over friendship love?

  John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Why is it that two friends going to dinner is either seen as either romantic or inappropriate if it’s a man and a woman? Or possibly assumed to be a gay couple if it’s two people of the same sex? I see it happen when adults want to invest in a younger person too with cynical questions of intent. Like it is absolutely unheard of for two people to have a brotherly, sisterly, motherly, daughterly connection in all innocence that is for mutual growth and nothing more.

Instead of the world’s version of “
friends with benefits“, He desires to create divine friendships with Holy benefits. Pure benefits. Glory benefits. It will be what He designed friendship to be from the start. It will be (divine)Friends with (kingdom)Benefits.

When we are little we are encouraged to be friends with everyone in class. We are encouraged to get valentines for everyone in class. At some point it all changes. Then it becomes you only spend time with friends until you find your romantic partner. If you spend time one on one time with someone it’s with the intent of romance. It all comes back around in retirement homes again and we once again value friendship. Why does it change? Should it change? I think we were doing it right in kindergarten. Everyone in your world matters. Everyone has value. Everyone deserves love.

Can we imagine a world/church where a remnant is not driven, pulled, or reigned by sex? What if a holy selfless love is what the driving force is in these individuals? Can we make room for that in our imaginations? I refuse to believe that man is an animal incapable of controlling his impulses. We have a holy God who is all powerful living in us. We were made in His image. Shouldn’t that raise the standard of our behavior? Maybe if we dared to start seeing that man/woman as a brother/sister it would all change.

I have seen it anywhere a deeply loyal, willing to take a bullet for you kinda love is found. Suspicion. Gossip. The sense that something improper must be happening. Its downright evil. I understand evil happens, but should we go looking for it where it may not exist?  I’m not suggesting we should ignore red flags, lets just not manufacture them ourselves out of the fabric of suspicion. It is very easy when you harbor a wound from the past to see everyone as a threat somehow. Not everyone is out to steal your husband or wife, molest your child, and every older man/woman who says something nice to you is hitting on you. We need healing so we can grow together.

I believe God is returning innocence to His church. We must return to believing that in an impure world there can be purity. We must be willing to explore other relationships besides romantic and just within the family. I’m tired of running into people who feel unloved because they aren’t in a romantic relationship. They need friends. I’m tired of little girls thinking their major goal of life is to get married and have children. Our goal should be to show love to everyone we meet, to truly share our hearts and our lives with them. How can we learn to truly love our neighbor when we can’t do it without someone questioning our intent?

Titus 1:15- To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.

If we become more well rounded in friendship it will end up making us more well rounded in all our other relationships. There is gold to be found in friendship in this season. There will be a rise of 
divine friendships that are strategically put together by God for His glory. They will be known by their PURITY and POWER.

GLORY will rest on them when two or more come together like elements coming together. They will create a holy spiritual reaction in the atmosphere much like a chemical reaction does in the physical realm.
There will be teams brought together that include all ages and both genders and they will work together joining their gifts together. They will be like a motley team of super heroes
 changing spiritual atmospheres and bringing the fire of God wherever they go together.

If we are a people filled with the Holy Spirit then we better be able to
 see the holy through His eyes of innocence when it comes. If we see through the eyes of this world we will miss it or mislabel it as suspicious or inappropriate when it’s actually His answer to the many prayers for restoration and liberation!! See through the eyes of innocence and purity to be able to see His glory come!
We’ve had enough of bringing sexy back. He is bringing innocence back. He’s bringing purity back. 
He’s bringing friendship back!

(I titled this what I did because it drove home the point that it’s not what you think)




4 thoughts on “Friends With Benefits

  1. Amen, well said Lori. I believe He gives us new friendships and relationships to help encourage us and help us navigate the journey ahead. Some old season friends aren’t meant to follow us into new seasons. The religious spirit has always tried to judge relationships as being wrong, suspiciously or evil. I am thankful for the many sisters in my life that encourage me and lift me up. They are divine connections and relationships. Blessings my friend, keep writing and roaring.


  2. I remember when I first went to Brazil the pastor of a church though I must be a pervert or something because I spent a lot of time playing with the kids.

    Sad. Having fun with kids is “evil?”


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